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Mary Kay Weider


Peacefully passed away at home on November 24, 2023, at age 71 surrounded by her family. She is predeceased by her parents Donald and Jean Bayer. Survived by her husband and best friend Mark; children, Max (Rose) Weider, Dana Weider, Tracy (Morgan) Barry; granddaughters, Viva and Bay Bookbinder Weider; siblings, David Bayer, Susan Bayer, Tim (Monica) Bayer, Tom (Katie Van Zile) Bayer, Donald “Chip” Bayer; many nieces, nephews, cousins and dear friends.

Family and friends are invited to call at Miller Funeral and Cremation Services, Inc. (3325 Winton Road South – Rochester, NY 14623) on TUESDAY (11/28/23) from 3:00 to 7:00 PM. Kate’s Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated in St. Thomas More Church (2617 East Avenue, Rochester, NY 14610) on WEDNESDAY (11-29-23) at 11 AM. Interment private. The Mass will be live streamed: open up YouTube and search OLQPSTM Kates Mass should come up for viewing.

Kate was always concerned about her family and friend’s future. With this in mind, she would like you to invest in your own retirement plan in her memory.

Kate grew up in Rochester, NY and graduated from Mercy High School in 1970. She earned her business degree from Simmons University. Kate married Mark in 1977 and had an epic backyard wedding reception. She lived in Colorado for seven years where Max and Dana were born and seven more years in Syracuse, NY where she worked as a sales representative and Tracy Jean was born. They moved back to Rochester in 1991 and started working at Normandy Co. as a mortgage lender. Kate worked there for 27 years until she begrudgingly retired.

If you knew Kate you might have been impressed by her boundless energy. She volunteered over the years at The Dorothy Day House, Meals on Wheels, Adopting families for the holidays, she instilled the value of community in her children. Kate loved adventures, however modest. Taking a drive with Mark, road tripping to regattas and camping. Visiting her grandchildren in Massachusetts may have been her favorite. Equipped with freshly knit wearable art for the girls, she was such a good grandma, they adored her.

Home was everything though. She joyfully spent hours in the garden creating a beautiful yard. Every spring was a new canvas to dig into. She loved to support local artists and their pieces were continuously rotating making her own personal gallery. She enjoyed creating a beautiful, welcoming and comfortable home. She was a storyteller and she was interested in what you had to say. Kate loved people and took joy in bringing them together.

Kate was a caring, gift giving nurturer who told you how it was. She took charge. Able to remember the family structure, the education and career paths, relationships, the highs and lows in the lives of so many in her life, she paid attention and she participated. Hardly flappable, she maintained the solid ground of family and friends. The big things were more important than the other stuff. She took care of us and her strength shone to the end. Kate made damn sure that we were together and that we had everything we needed before she left saying she had no regrets and lived a truly beautiful life.

We will continue to hear her voice in some of our favorite sayings of hers, of which she had about 12,000. “It’s all Gobbledygook” ,”Don’t be a noonoo”, “Because I’m the mother”, “Don’t let them take your energy”, “The first time you say no is the hardest and then it just gets easier”, “It doesn’t owe you anything”, ” Go to work, use your brain and then come home and live your life”. As well as the loving names she had for her children “Boubi”, “Pearly girl” and “Bougies”.

We were all blessed to have had her in our lives.


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